Sunday, March 13, 2011

Parenting Style: Mom's Intuition/Common Sense Parenting

I've been thinking about my parenting style and the labels or groups that we are put into based on the parenting choices that we make and I have decided that I am a common sense type of parent. I don't know if that is an actual label but that is what I am going to call my style from now on. Pretty much every decision that I make is a combination of my intuition and common sense (Of course if it is a really important decision I will do a bit of research to confirm my decision, like vaccines).

Take sleep for example. Do I like to sleep alone: No. Do I like to sleep with my baby: yes. Does my baby get more sleep while sleeping with me: One kid yes, One kid not anymore. So do I sleep with my kids? With lily we did until she was one. That was not an age or date that we put on her that was just how long sleeping together worked for us. She started to sleep better in her crib than with us and we were ok with that. Dawson does because right now its a win win for everyone, when it stops working we will try something new.

Vaccines: same thing. Do I think they are important: most of them. Do they apply to our lifestyle: most of them. Does my gut tell me it makes sense to shoot my newborn up with multiple drugs at once when they all can have side effects alone let alone together? No. (would you take tylenol, motrin, vicodin and morphine all together? they all serve a purpose and do some good? yes) So what do we do? We get most of the shots, but give them one or two at a time and we postpone or ommit the ones that don't apply to us and won't hurt others if we don't get them. Yes we take more time out of our schedule and pay more copays but we feel like its worth it.

You get the picture. I listen when my kids talk, even if it is for hours on end. Because they want to be heard and I want them to know I am always here to listen. I cry when I'm frustrated, they cry when they are frustrated, so instead of getting mad at a meltdown I try to empathize. When they are mad I empathize. When they are having a rough day I empathize. When they don't want to slow down and eat I empathize (lately I have to remind myself to stop and eat). The bottom line is they are just little people. At the very least we should not expect more out of them than we do ourselves because lets face it we have been dealing with our feelings a lot longer and really most of the time my reactions aren't that much different than my toddlers! ;)

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our goals are simple

as women, mothers, and friends, our goals are simple:

love our husband(s) and babies. be kind and generous to those in our lives. to learn and to help teach. strengthen our faith and the faith of our family. be gentle to the earth and its inhabitants. stop and smell the roses (or at least the crayons!)