Krcha girls and friends in local news segment!

Check it out! :) xo

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From: krchafamily@yahoo.com <krchafamily@yahoo.com>;
To: <Krchafamily@yahoo.com>;
Subject: Can Being a Picky Eater Lead to an Eating Disorder?
Sent: Thu, Nov 3, 2011 1:39:45 AM

Hi, I thought you'd like this: Click here Can Being a Picky Eater Lead to an Eating Disorder? Does meal time lead to threats or yelling matches at your house? Many parents grew up being told to "clean... This email is a direct message from a friend who wants to share an item of interest with you. This email message is powered by Gigya's sharing technology. If you no longer wish to receive messages that are sent via Gigya's service, please click here to remove your email address. Gigya Inc., 1975 Landings Dr., Mountain View, CA 94043.

Why Babies Should Never Sleep ... (armsreach.com)

Why Babies Should Never Sleep Alone
http://www.armsreach.com/?article_id=65&main_page=news

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Being your childs advocate.

I find myself in an interesting situation today... A few weeks ago Lily and I made some new friends. I really like this particular mom and Lily really likes her daughter. They play well together and seem to enjoy each others company as much as their moms do. This friend started inviting me to do things with her play group. While I love to stay busy and surround Lily with playmates, these mom's seem to parent different than I do. Most of the time, that doesn't bother me. I don't need everyone to do everything the same way that I do, but I have come to realize there is one core thing that is pretty important to me in parenting: Are you obsessed with your kids? I know all mom's "LOVE" their kids but are you crazy, out of your mind, obbsessed with them? I am. Since Lily was born every second that she is not in reach I miss her... like you'd miss a limb ;) Without fail most nights (even on the toughest of days) Lily will fall asleep and I will look at my sweet husband and say "I miss her..." I know to some of you that might seem crazy or unhealthy even but I don't think it is. And it is this crazy love for her that influences every parenting decision that I make and it of course makes me her biggest advocate. Anyway, one of the kids in this playgroup plays pretty rough and is pretty defiant. I tell Lily "Use your words" to fight him, and she tries but he doesn't listen to mom so why would he listen to a 2 year old. So today she just randomly would scream "No NAME, Mine!" anytime she had something that was hers even though he was nowhere near her and then when we left she told me "No NAME mommy". Basically, she doesn't want to be his friend. I don't blame her, I wouldn't want to either. I told her sometimes by making good choices ourselves other kids will follow her and make good choices, but I don't know how much of that she understands. All that I know is in the last 7 hours she has told me and my husband about 20 times that she doesn't want to be his friend. So now what? I just pretend to become insanely busy and can't ever play with this friend that I like again? It seems like, "oh no big deal just play with her outside of play group". But how to I explain that? It seems like everytime we play together she ends up inviting them. I guess if I am going to be Lily's advocate we may lose our new friends just to avoid the mean kid... sigh. Oh well, mom friends are a dime a dozen right?! NOT.

Breastfeeding and Guilt (breastfeedingonline.com)

I really enjoyed this article- hope you do too! 

Breastfeeding and Guilt
www.breastfeedingonline.com​/guilt.html

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Breastfeeding Baby Doll. Cute ... (galtime.com)

Breastfeeding Baby Doll. Cute or Scary? | Parenting
galtime.com​/multimedia​/parenting​/38605​/10346​/...

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Genetically Modified Cows Prod... (good.is)

This is unbelievable! Its a bit scary to think of where science may take us in another 100 years. Would this take away the necessity of breastfeeding babies? I hope not!! 

Genetically Modified Cows Produce "Human" Milk
www.good.is​/post​/genetically-modified-cows-pr...

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Wordless Wednesday xo

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Begin forwarded message:

From: "Krcha, Dennison W" <Dennison.Krcha@BNSF.com>
Date: March 23, 2011 12:02:47 AM CDT
To: "'krchafamily@yahoo.com'" <krchafamily@yahoo.com>
Subject: IMG00185-20110319-1155.jpg

Krcha

Parenting Style: Mom's Intuition/Common Sense Parenting

I've been thinking about my parenting style and the labels or groups that we are put into based on the parenting choices that we make and I have decided that I am a common sense type of parent. I don't know if that is an actual label but that is what I am going to call my style from now on. Pretty much every decision that I make is a combination of my intuition and common sense (Of course if it is a really important decision I will do a bit of research to confirm my decision, like vaccines).

Take sleep for example. Do I like to sleep alone: No. Do I like to sleep with my baby: yes. Does my baby get more sleep while sleeping with me: One kid yes, One kid not anymore. So do I sleep with my kids? With lily we did until she was one. That was not an age or date that we put on her that was just how long sleeping together worked for us. She started to sleep better in her crib than with us and we were ok with that. Dawson does because right now its a win win for everyone, when it stops working we will try something new.

Vaccines: same thing. Do I think they are important: most of them. Do they apply to our lifestyle: most of them. Does my gut tell me it makes sense to shoot my newborn up with multiple drugs at once when they all can have side effects alone let alone together? No. (would you take tylenol, motrin, vicodin and morphine all together? No...do they all serve a purpose and do some good? yes) So what do we do? We get most of the shots, but give them one or two at a time and we postpone or ommit the ones that don't apply to us and won't hurt others if we don't get them. Yes we take more time out of our schedule and pay more copays but we feel like its worth it.

You get the picture. I listen when my kids talk, even if it is for hours on end. Because they want to be heard and I want them to know I am always here to listen. I cry when I'm frustrated, they cry when they are frustrated, so instead of getting mad at a meltdown I try to empathize. When they are mad I empathize. When they are having a rough day I empathize. When they don't want to slow down and eat I empathize (lately I have to remind myself to stop and eat). The bottom line is they are just little people. At the very least we should not expect more out of them than we do ourselves because lets face it we have been dealing with our feelings a lot longer and really most of the time my reactions aren't that much different than my toddlers! ;)

six-month obsessive love

a six-month old infant is the epitamy of all-encompassing, obsessive love.

Connection is more important than correction

This evening I came across a great post from Code Name: Mama -


Connection is more important than correction 

1. Attention: “You’re so mad mommy can’t play right now. You’re telling me how mad you are by throwing your things! Mad. Mad. Mad. I hear you.”
2. Affection: “You are throwing your cup. I see you. Maybe you need some Mommy/Daddy-time, here I come for a hug!”
3. Autonomy: “You want to do it by yourself. You want to pour your own juice. I understand that. I like to do things all BY MYSELF too!”
   And then let her pour her own juice on a surface that won’t be hurt by a spill – they will only learn to pour with practice!
4. Play: “You threw your cup again. Was that funny? It sure bounced (spilled, hit the fridge etc). That cup sure went high.”
   “Do you like when mommy makes those funny faces every time?” (imitate yourself becoming impatient – he may find your reactions funny, and that’s why he keeps repeating the behavior)
   And then offer to let him throw cups in the bathtub! Or try another large muscle movement game. Pat from Heal Thyself! had some great suggestions:
   *Throwing is huge fun, so give him something safe to throw and something else to aim toward. We have hung balloons from strings from the ceiling and tossed Nerf balls at them.
   *Tilt a hula hoop against the wall and toss bean bags into it.
   *Lean over the back of a stable chair and drop quarters into a loud metal pan.
   *Give him something to squeeze, like playdough, while he is sitting in his chair.
   *Hold your hands above him, have him jump and touch your hands (adjust the height of your hand to challenge him more or less).
   *Have him spin and jump and move BEFORE long sitting activities.
   *Provide other fidget activities such as stringing large beads, pockets with velcro to open and close, or matching games (put all red objects in one cup, blue in other cup, etc).
   *Basically, embrace the JOY and offer something to do *instead*.

Needs First, Teachable Moments Second

After you acknowledge your child’s need/feelings and your child is responsive, then move to teachable moments.

“When cups fall on the floor, they spill and make a mess, how can we work together to keep your cup on the table?”

“Instead of throwing your cup, let’s throw BALLS!”

“Oops – the cup spilled and made the floor messy, let’s clean it up together!” (Try to model cleaning without expectation of help or without guilting your child into it.)

At 2.5 years, a child’s emotional regulation is facilitated when you acknowledge your child’s feelings – even if he can’t have what he wants. From 0-3 years, when a kid meets with transition or change or obstacles there is often a flooding in their body of BIG feelings. This is not misbehavior, but an inability to resolve the internal conflict alone, and a very real physiological process that happens.

Shaming, blaming, or getting angry with a young child who can’t control his body does not teach her anything. Instead, use the power of empathy to settle her body and mind and help her weather the emotional overwhelm she feels in the moment.

Connection soothes. Focus on building connections!

_____________________________

Dennison and I have been having conversations about just what I was looking for! "Focus on needs- not on behavior." such a simple concept, but so complex!   I recently set up a sensory table in the kitchen for Sawyer. Since it's so cold, I decided to fill the sand/water table with white rice instead of water. She's had a wonderful time scooping the rice, pouring it into various cups, funnels, and...on the floor! I have been hesitant to remove the table- I really enjoy watching her self-play, and love hearing the way she talks to herself while she's "pouring tea". I have been getting very frustrated sweeping up rice every day. I seem to always be halfway across the kitchen when she catches my eye and s-l-o-w-l-y ours out every single grain from her cup. It's really amazing how far rice can scatter. 

I love days where I can pause, take a deep breath, basque in the sunshine and feel the blessings that are my children. Yesterday was that kind of day. The kind of day that restores my patience and makes all of the tough days worth it. It was a beautiful, sunny, spring day in Austin. So we packed up a lunch, an old blanket, books and bubbles and drove to Zilker Park for a good old fashion picnic. I specifically chose a park that didn't have a playground. Sometimes I feel like a playground is more stress than it is worth. It was so nice to be outside and read, laugh, run around, eat and I even got up the nerve to nurse Dawson laying down on the blanket. It was so peaceful. When we got in the car Lily said "Thanks Mommy." Awww, be still my heart. I love my sweet girl. If only she was like that all of the time. She is 2. Sometimes I have to remind myself that.

a birds-eye view

Is it bedtime yet?!

Today I was burned out by 931a. Sawyer was jumping around at 630a, and we've been busy ever since. By nine in the morning we had already made (and ate!) Breakfast, nursed (twice at least), made beds, started laundry, got dressed, unloaded + reloaded the dishwasher, and MADE CRACKERS. Oh, yeah, and played with homemade play dough. I hadn't been looking at the time, but we had been SO industrious I felt for sure we were rapidly approaching 1p. No. Not even hardly.

Its been a really rainy day today, so going outside is not possible, and I really didn't want to run to Target just because I couldn't "stay at home"...(Although that IS part of my current title!)

This afternoon I've been singing, dancing, reading, play-acting, and watching cartoons, all in hopes of a good nap (or at least rest!).

Alas! To no avail. Oakley is slumbering peacefully right now. I attempted a naptime battle twice today with Sawyer, and I'm letting it go. At least today. At least right now.

Right now, Sawyer is playing quietly in her room. I can hear her talking to herself. Her sweet, little sing-song voice speaking quietly enough that I can't understand the words. Just that she's happy. And peaceful. And quiet.

Maybe I shouldn't push so hard some days. Every day is different. Maybe today is a no-nap day. Hopefully tomorrow will bring a 2 hour nap day.

In the future, instead of me forcing peace, I'll let Sawyer bring her own peace to the house.

xo
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Sawyer surveying her paint job :) xo

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Painting our school room!

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Circumcision

As parents I can only hope that we take the time to question the "norm". When we found out we were having a boy the topic of circumcision came up. My husband is circumcised so our instinct was that is "normal". Most men that we know are circumcised so there must be a reason that this procedure is done. Well...there isn't (unless for religious reasons) and it isn't even the norm anymore. For our generation about 80% were circumcised, now it is closer to 30%! We also asked ourselves, if there was a surgery to modify our daughters vagina to look more "normal" or prettier would we do it? Of course not. We couldn't even agree to put erythromycin in her (or his) eyes at birth but we were going to cut a piece of their body off for fun? I have heard stories of women who didn't research and regret it and stories of women who did research and their husbands vetoed their opinion because they want "like father, like son". Those stories hurt my heart for both the parents and the children. I am so glad that my husband doesn't want his son to be "just like him" he wants him to be better. We both want our kids to be better. So we make choices and open doors for sometimes difficult conversations so that they will be better.

Here are a couple of circumcision resources:
Dr. Sears
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/1/t012000.asp
Peaceful Parenting- this one is really sad
http://www.drmomma.org/2011/01/neonatal-circumcision-video-for.html

A view from the back(pack)

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air, water + earth

Sawyer is the air that surrounds me. I just want to breathe her in. Larger than life. Big as the sky. Always changing, fascinating. Leaves me aching for more beyond the horizon. Every sunset, every day, new + different.

Oakley is the water that quenches my thirsty soul. I drink deeply from her beautiful eyes- Bubbly + fresh, yet cool, calm, and consistent. Tranquil. The ocean has high + low tides, but remains reliable + steadfast. Day after day.

One equal fundamental element links them both.

Dennison is my earth. The ground I stand on. familiar terrain that gives my weary heart strength and from which I always spring anew. I stretch deep roots into him, and grow tall and strong because of him.

I love the world in which I live!
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freespiriting

lately Dennison (my husband) and I have been questioning exactly when to reign in our free-spirited two year old. Sawyer is so full of life! It thrills us to watch her jump and dance and sing and hug and LIVE! When we go to library storytime, she is hand-in-hand with the librarian- counting the other children, encouraging them to sing, vigorously shaking her tambourine. She seems so much...bigger than some of the other children.

I never dreamed someone so small could be so big. As a child, I was a reader. When I was growing up, if I did something that warranted punishment, my mom would withhold my books from me. "Go outside and play" was doom and gloom. It wasn't that I minded being outside, I just wanted to swing in the hammock and read while outside.

Sawyer has so much energy and life in her tiny body. It's a constant balance of letting her fly free and reeling her in, much like flying a kite. If you allow a kite too much leeway, it will get tangled in a tree or stolen by the wind. Not enough freedom, and the kite will never really take off- just skip roughly along the ground.

Every week we go to a preschool education program at the local zoo. It's designed for three to five year olds, but Sawyer has been doing a wonderful job actively participating, so I'm going to continue taking her. Usually only four other children attend with her, so it's a great environment to learn and explore. Last week, however, a mother's group attended, bringing at least thirty extra children in attendance. Needless to say, this greatly strained the relaxed, peaceful environment usually present.

I watched another "hippie mamma" at the table across from us. Hippie mammas can be spotted from a mile away. Usually wearing some sort of a baby carrying apparatus wrapped around our bodies. Something in our vibe or aura. Maybe it's from defending our right to nurse in public, or people questioning why on earth we would strap ourselves to our children during the day, or sleep with them at night. Regardless, sometimes hippie mammas wear a "don't jack with me" attitude along with their baby. This mamma did.

The class instructors specifically directed all children to free play with the homemade play-dough, water table, and puzzles for the first fifteen minutes of the class. The craft, painting a whale cut-out blue, was prepared and already pre-set on the table. The mamma nudged her son toward the painting table. He hesitated. I SAW the hesitation in his face. He knew he was going against the grain. Breaking the rules. He was wary. His mamma said "it's okay, go ahead and paint". A few brush strokes passed, when the teacher announced again "please stay away from painting until painting time" Again, he hesitated, and again his mamma encouraged. Another mother specifically addressed the mamma, stating that painting "wasn't allowed right now". The son set his paintbrush down, and went to work on puzzles. His mamma called him back, and told him to continue painting. She said "there's not enough activities for everyone. If they didn't want you to paint right now, they should have had more to do".

My heart ached for this little boy. His whole life he will be going against the grain. Like it or not. Please don't misunderstand me. I'm totally for questioning authority and re-thinking the way it "has" to be. HOWEVER, for the sake of our children and in respect of others, sometimes we must conform our way of life and thinking to others.

I want Sawyer to understand that she can run and jump and sing and play- just not in someone else's personal space (or at least not TOO much in another's personal space). I want her to question authority- as long as she can respect chosen leaders. Every week, we make a point to thank each "teacher" we come into contact with. It's so important to learn respect for our leaders. Leaders at the library. Leaders at the zoo. I firmly believe that if you are respectful toward others, people will grant you allowances. This will let you dance. and sing. and laugh. and question...and soar like a kite.

xo

Bed-sharing buddies! xo

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Milk face! xo

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Women

Why are we so tough on other women? Women we know, women we don't know. Doesn't seem to matter. They judge us, we judge them. Some of us may not admit it, because most of us aren't proud of it. So why do we do it? Why is it so hard to accept that one word: Mom, Woman, Sister, Friend ect... can mean something different to each person? I don't say that I'm proud of my choices so that you can feel bad about yours. I say that I am proud of my choices because while they aren't always easy, they are the right choices for me. Lets be proud of each other, encourage each other, support each other in all walks of life because we are alike in at least one way. We are women. Decendants of Eve. Sisters. Let us lead our daughters by example of love, acceptance, forgiveness, and grace. So that they don't make the same mistakes that we do. Happy Friday! Hope you get to spend time with women you love this weekend. I do!!!

friday re-fresh

so, in my former life, I created, owned, ran, and loved a floral + event design studio called "Wild Poppy". Sometimes in the midst of my daily run of diapers, singing songs, wiping noses, and reading books, my mind strays...would it really be better for me, and in turn my family, if I returned, even if just simply part time, to the outside world?

Last Friday I had the opportunity to re-enter the working world. (actually earning a paycheck!!) The local flowershop on the square was needing seasonal help for the Valentine's weekend and hired me as a designer. I was thrilled. My husband would watch the girls Friday night, all day Saturday, and all day Sunday- popping in as needed for me to nurse Oakley.

well.

Three hours into my working evening on Friday, Dennison came by with the kids. Sawyer was still in good spirits- high from spending so much time with Daddy. Oakley was falling apart. Literally. In every sense of the word. Her sweet beautiful baby skin was blotchy from crying and her clear blue eyes filled with watery tears. She and I had never been apart for more than fifteen minutes. We sleep together. Take showers together. I wear her in a sling. I took a deep breath, fighting back my OWN tears- I never wanted my babies to feel this way! I just needed a little...space. I gave my sweet nursling "nie nie", gave Sawyer kisses, and helped Dennison load the girls back into the car. He called an hour later- they were having a major meltdown. All the way home, Sawyer couldn't stop crying "but we CAN'T go home without Momma!" and of course, this was making Oakley cry even harder than she was.

hmmm...my "me time" was quickly turning out to be a selfish choice.

I have no doubt that right now, exactly where I'm at in my life, my place is in the home with my babies and my husband. It's so easy to glamorize "something different" and "me time". I need to find my "me time" in the midst of my everyday. How can I shave off a few seconds here, and a minute or two there, and come up with some truely peaceful moments in my day? After all, quite honestly, that's what I'm after. I love my children. I can be around them all day and STILL want to breathe them in at night. I need to learn to be more peaceful and zen and appreciate small moments so my frustration doesn't build so much that I feel the need to get away from the very thing I've always wanted.

It was odd to work at the flower shop and honestly not think about the kids for MINUTES at a time. I was shocked that this was even possible. My entire being is usually so consumed with thoughts of everyone else- how's Denn at work? what do I need to feed Sawyer more of so she'll poop? when should I introduce avocado to Oakley? While working, literally 10 minutes would fly by before I would stop and wonder how my little family was faring without me.

I also realized that anyone can do flowers. Well, almost anyone. They may not be able to add the special touches that I can, but who cares? They're beautiful and stunning and...well...flowers. I'm raising strong, beautiful, independant, smart, funny, happy children. Nobody can do that better than me. At least not for the two kiddos I've got right now.

Working outside the home? I hated it. And loved it. And, as I reassured my sobbing two year old, I'll never do it again. At least for the next five years. At least.

xo

What a difference a week makes!

Last week I called Heather in tears. My 2yr old and 9 week old have had 3 colds in 6 weeks. We have left the house as a 3some a handful of times and I was/is feeling lonely. Trying to adjust to this wonderful change that is our baby boy, while staying healthy and sane....at home.

I don't know about you but I am definitely someone who likes to go, go, go. For years, while working in the fashion industry, I complained about the go,go, go but now I see that I thrived on it. After Lily (my first was born) it took me 6 months to slow my brain down. As the mother of an extremely needy child, Lily came out screaming. She screamed a lot her first year of life. Everytime we got in the car she screamed. Me, so used to go go going would just drive, a bit too quickly, to where ever we we going. We would arrive frazzled and exhausted. When I met Heather, who has a daughter much like my own, I asked her "What do you do when she screams in the car?!". Her response, so simple, but so life changing for me, was "I pull over."....DUH! Why was I always in such a hurry to get to the store, or my parents house, or the library? I was no longer punching a time clock, Lily was/is my time clock. At that moment I started to adjust my thinking. To be what my children need, when they need it. Within reason of course!

Our days started to become more "normal". We planned playdates, visited the library, went to the park. If it was a rough day we canceled, if we had to pull over we were just late. It felt nice to get in a groove. It felt nice to be meeting my childs needs and having adult conversations with other moms. Our groove seemed short lived since when Lily was 13 months old I got pregnant with Dawson. With morning sickness and being tired and our dear friends and almost daily companions moving away, we stayed home more and I focused on getting through each day while still entertaining/growing Lily.

Towards the end of my pregnancy the lonliness set in. I noticed myself becoming more and more insecure and grew tired of giving so much to my daughter and not enough to my husband which contributed to my insecurities. Now 2 months after having Dawson I am struggling to get back to my "normal". Trying to figure out how to meet the needs of my husband, my 2 children (1 who is still extremely needy, wanting to hold my hand 24/7 but redeems herself by telling me I'm her "fwend" and giving me hugs and kisses, and 1 who is nursing every hour 24/7), my home, and my own needs which these days are daytime companionship. Last week I felt like I was drowning in these emotions. I found myself wondering Am I the only Stay at Home Mom that feels so alone? Why doesn't anyone talk about it? Why don't we reach out to other mom's in the supermarket, mall, or park? This week, with the kids feeling better I decided to try and get a grip on things. I printed a daily/weekly chore list to check off each day, we went to the store, to a music class, to play with friends. And overall it was a good week. The kids were in good spirits, healthy, and happy. Lily is learning so much right now. She is saying her letter sounds, it is amazing to see the fruits of my labor! And overall I feel good. I hope you feel good today too!

stopping to smell the babies xo (Sawyer's last day to nurse)

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Breastfeeding in publix (or any other grocery store...or anywhere else!)

Where do you nurse your baby? When Sawyer was "new", I would leave the room (if we were home + around fam or friends). If we were running errands, I would trek back to the car before nourishing her.

With Oakley- I nurse anywhere + everywhere. A few months ago, I finally figured out how to nurse in my Boba baby carrier (its basically like an Ergo) and that even ELEVATED my ability to NIP (nurse in public). I nurse Oak when we're grocery shopping, in a busy mall, or on a nature walk in the park.

Boldly nursing feels very freeing. It feels good to not feel ashamed to nurse. To feel proud of my body's ability to produce nourishment for my child, and my choice to not use formula.

However convenient, NIP makes me take a slight pause. Am I robbing Oakley of a quiet, peaceful, loving interaction by "nursing on the fly"? Have I gotten too comfortable, too confident with breastfeeding? Is my ability to facebook or text while nursing really elevating our bonding time together?

Its important to be able to multi-task and be flexible in situations. I believe it helps our children better at adapting to new surroundings + happenings...however, throughout our crazy hectic day, don't forget to stop and smell the baby.

xo
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IMG00052-20101113-1742.jpg

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crafts for toddlers

I'm trying to "bloom where I'm planted" so to speak, so I've recently become involved in a local mom's club. In the spirit of biting off more than I can chew (something I have a habit of doing), I have offered to host arts/music over at my house every Tuesday. Starting March 1st.

That sounded SO simple when I suggested it.

In trying to lesson plan, I'm finding it difficult to find different crafts for young toddlers. Sawyer is 26 months old, and the age range of kiddos is probably early two to four. hmmm...

Every craft I am coming across seems to complicated for such little hands. I need inspiration + suggestion!! I will update as I find things, and post pictures as projects are completed.

Here's to a crafty month of March! :)

i have confidence in sunshine...

Oakley is so joyous! She searches me out to make eye contact, and once we've locked eyes, we can gaze at each other for such a long time. I'm totally in baby love with her. She's hard-core teething right now, and I'm looking forward to seeing her tiny pearls sitting on her sweet gums. Oak has been sitting up without being propped up (not an easy feat for such a rolly-polly baby!). I think she's going to start crawling in the next two months. She's been coughing for extra attention lately- something Sawyer used to do as well! It's interesting to see small traits like that run through both girls. Somehow we've inadvertantly taught them this...

a breath of fresh air.

We moved to Kansas City when Oakley was 6 weeks old. Lived out of a hotel for TWO MONTHS. (two kids under two, for two months in one hotel room is really difficult!). We moved into the huge, old colonial (that I'm totally in love with, but very a overwhelming project!)  This entire time, my parents have never come to visit. Not once. The day we left Austin for Kansas City, they flew out to Vegas for the weekend.

My parents are generally extremely supportive people. Where is their support now?

Sometimes I feel like I'm on the brink of losing my mind! The house always feels like it's falling apart, the kids will never take a nap when I need one, and I just get...lonely. I miss my momma!

I called her in tears today- I'm just having a really difficult day today. For no particular reason, and for every single reason I can think of. I'm exhausted beyond words. Tired of carrying, singing, talking, making, patting, changing...I need my momma to re-energize me. I need her to love on my babies and love on her baby and make everything okay again. Do you know what she said to me? Not "I'll be right there" or "is this weekend too late?" but..."have you joined any mom's clubs in the area"? Are you serious, mom? Sheesh. Thanks anyway.

I'm the oldest of four kids. We're all two years apart. I know my parents have a lot going on, but sometimes I just really need a hand. I honestly can't remember the last time I called and told them I needed help. I can't believe she referred me to a mom's club.

How do you reach out a hand? How do you ask for help? Do you search out a desperate mother at the library, grocery store, or playground and ask her if she needs a hand? It seems like our society is so busy- do we take time to look for moms that need a breath of fresh air? Will you be someone's breath of fresh air today?

today

this was actually written two weeks ago, but I wanted to share it with you

As I lay on our king size bed, breast bared to our sleeping five + a half month old sleeping infant, I hear the gentle snores of my husband in the other room. I can picture him laying next to our 26 month old daughter...both of them sharing blissful dreams of Star Wars and polar bears.

Today was the first day of the rest of our lives. Like every day, I suppose. Every day we encounter mini-milestones. Discovering a better route home from work. How to add milk at just the right time to make the perfect gravy. In Sawyer's life, today was the first day without nie-nie.

Nie-nie is comfort. It's peace. It's the quickest way to calm and soothe. Nie-nie is our family word for nursing, something Sawyer knows very well.

Within the first precious moments of her birth, she suckled at my breast. I came to the hospital fully prepared with my Boppy, breast pump, breast pads, La Leche League's "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding", and ideas floating in my head of various holds + ways to help my newborn latch on to my breast. Latching, however, was not our problem. We've had a hard time UN-latching.

Last night was the last nie-nie. She awoke from a nightmare, demanding to nurse. I reluctantly allowed her to nurse (we are night-weaned). When I did so, I discovered she really just wanted to lay her head on my bare breast, without nursing. This has been our pattern lately, but for some reason, I knew my baby bird was ready for a nudge out of the nie-nie nest.

The next morning when Sawyer awoke, she immediately asked to nurse. I reminded her that she nursed last night and drank her nie-nie then. She quickly responded, "that's okay, Momma. I drink baby Oakley's nie-nie." I answered her gently "no, no sweetie. I made you some special banana bread with chocolate chips. Let's go get milk with a straw + banana bread!" She was excited to go downstairs for the banana bread + quickly forgot the nie-nie.

Our next checkpoint was naptime. I had taken her to storytime at our local library and to play on the playground so she would be thoroughly worn out + ready for her afternoon nap. When we got home, we all curled up on our family bed to read books and take a nap in the sunshine. She briefly asked to nurse, but I showed her a new "look and find" book from the library and asked if she wouldn't rather look at that with me. She was very excited. We had a great time perusing the book and she soon drifted off to sleep.

When she awoke from her nap, I thought we were going to have to nurse. I was just about to tell her that big girls don't have nie-nie, a conversation I never have felt right about, when instead, I told her how excited I am for her. "Sawyer! Now that you're a big girl, I'm so excited for you! Let's make you some purple cow milk (grape juice mixed with whole milk) downstairs while baby Oakley finishes her nap. How special and fun for us!!"

So the two of us slipped away downstairs where the two of us drank purple cows, shared another slice of banana bread, and giggled together. She kept kissing me on my face and I knew in a heartbeat she was ready to fly. She and I went back upstairs to check on Oakley and to work on her Strawberry Shortcake sticker workbook.

As I write this, tears are softly streaming down my face. I'm not really sure why. My nursing journey with Sawyer has lasted significantly longer than my husband or I ever dreamed. It has been sweet, endearing, messy, silly, peaceful, and precious. Tandem nursing has been an even greater roller-coaster of emotions. Surges of happiness and love, to downright resentment at times. Above all, I am so thankful that she was as committed as I to seeing this first portion of our journey together so wonderfully.

With a heart filled with love, relief, mixed with a hint of sadness over the loss of her babyhood, a smile for the adventures that lie ahead, and an aching breast, I close my eyes in blissful slumber. Sleep well, sweet girl. Sleep well, sweet family of mine.

xo

I found this beautiful poem in Mothering Magazine - it is so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes. I just had my second daughter in mid-July, and Liza just celebrated her second child's birth just about a month ago. Welcome Dawson! Liza- this poem is for you. xo